"Lord I come, I confess.  Bowing here, I find my rest.  Without you, I fall apart. You're the one that guides my heart.  Lord, I need You. Oh I need You.  Every hour I need  you. My one defense.  My righteousness.  Oh God, how I need You." ~ Matt Maher

These were the lyrics I heard as I turned on my car this afternoon.  I had just come from a meeting at Mitchell's Place. The meeting was our "feedback session" to go over their findings.  "Findings for whom?," you might ask. 

Our sweet Avery Faith.

If you're familiar with Mitchell's Place, you know that most children who attend have some form of Spectrum Disorder.  We are a little different, as there is no Spectrum Disorder in our diagnosis.

Avery Faith has been diagnosed with "Selective Mutism & Social Anxiety Disorder."  I can't even wrap my head around what all this means at the moment.  But I find it cathartic to write (as evidenced by my blogging during Sayla Grace's early arrival), so I'm writing.  Writing whatever comes to mind.  So please forgive my choppiness. ;o)  I hope to continue blogging during this journey, but who knows.  This could be my one and only post about it. 

Feel free to talk with me about this.  It is not a secret (obviously or I wouldn't be sharing!).  And I welcome any questions you may have.  I may not have an answer, but I'll try!

By now I'm sure you've stopped to google Selective Mutism (SM).  If not, here's the gist of it.  Selective Mutism is a complex childhood anxiety disorder characterized by a childs inability to speak and communicate effectively in select social settings, such as school. These children are able to speak and communicate in settings where they are comfortable, secure, and relaxed.  It is often coupled with some type of social anxiety disorder (90% of the time).


Not all children manifest their anxiety in the same way. Some may be completely mute and unable to speak or communicate to anyone in a social setting, others may be able to speak to a select few or perhaps whisper. (This is typically how Avery Faith reacts).  Some children may stand motionless with fear as they are confronted with specific social settings. They may freeze, be expressionless, unemotional and may be socially isolated. (She does this too).  Less severely affected children may look relaxed and carefree, and are able to socialize with one or a few children but are unable to speak and effectively communicate to teachers or most/all peers.

If you know our Avery Faith, you know this describes her.  She will not speak to you if in a public/social setting (unless her big sis is around).  And it's more than just your typical shyness.  This is not something she can overcome alone.  If left untreated, children with SM become socially inept, reclusive and their daily lives are severely hindered as a result.  Some even become non-functioning members of society. 

We are so blessed to have a teacher in Avery Faith's life that recognized something wasn't quite right.  She is truly her angel and we cannot thank her enough for bringing this to our attention!  :o)

So I'm sure by this point you're wondering why in the world I'm putting all of this out there for the world to see.  The reason is two-fold.  First, from what I've been told, the treatment for SM is very specific.  And EVERY person who is involved in her care has to know the in's and out's of those specifics.  It's important to share the details of how to effectively communicate with her so that she will progress in different settings.  (Of course I will also personally share those details with her caregivers).  Right now I have no clue what the specifics of her treatment are, so bear with me!!

Second, Selective Mutism is rare.  So rare, in fact, that we cannot find anyone locally to treat her.  The sweet therapists at Mitchell's Place already did much of the legwork for us, and have not been able to locate any local professionals to help us.  The nearest "expert" on the matter is Dr. Shipon-Blum in Jenkintown, PA.  She runs the "SMart Center" for treatment of children with SM.  We will be contacting the center in the coming week to find out our options for getting treatment with her.  Apparently she does some web based therapy so we can (hopefully) easily take advantage of what they have to offer. 

I know that because we cannot get treatment locally, neither can anyone else.  So I feel led to share our journey, in the off chance it might help someone else struggling with this same issue.  Because being given this type of diagnosis, and not having anyone to turn to, makes you feel quite alone. 

The Lord knew I needed to hear the lyrics to that song this afternoon.  I've not been where I need to be spiritually lately, and those lyrics brought me to my knees.  Those words went straight to my heart.  Only twice before in my life have I literally "felt" God's presence working in me.  First when I accepted Christ at age 15, and again when Sayla Grace was born at 27 weeks. 

And again today.  God tugged so hard at my heart it hurt.  If you've been there, you know that feeling.  He let me know he never left me.  He reminded me he is unfailing.  He told me THIS is his plan for our sweet Faithy.  THIS is her journey.  He will help us find our way.  I feel lost.  He's already found me.  All I have to do is trust Him. 

Her name means "Confirmed Faith."   Since the day we found out we were pregnant with her, she has been my confirming my faith. 

This journey has only made it stronger.

"Help Me Find It"