This much I know is true...one simple act can completely change life's perspective.

I looked back at my previous post, and realized I'd stated something incorrectly. Aside from the fact that no one in my family can accurately remember Grandma TT's real name - no one is sure if it's Maria Theresa, Marie Theresa, Theresa Marie...I guess I should call my Grams. She'll know...

...another thing I stated incorrectly was that we're actually entering 5 months of "Baby Blessings" - well, 5 months since I started tracking all the things you track when trying to have a baby. I'm really only tracking these things so that in the event we do have to visit the doc, I'll be armed, and won't have to wait another year to gather info. Just trying to keep ahead of the game. (If you're a woman, or you've been there, you know what I mean.) O thinks I'm crazy.

So March will be 6 months. Those that are closest to me (including my darling husband) keep telling me to 'not stress' about it, and things will happen in time. I've been told by some (including myself) to just 'stop thinking about it' and when you least expect it, things will fall into place, among other things.

If you have ever been where I am - and trust me, I know we are very early in all of this - you know that those helpful words are easier said than done. Every day I hear of a friend that is newly expecting, or has just had a precious bundle of joy. Six months (well ok...five) of trying does not seem like a long time, but in my world it's an eternity. If you've been there, you know what I mean. Now, although it sounds like it here, I'm really not 'stressing' about it. I know God has a reason for everything, and there is nothing more revealing than His timing. But as you can also tell if you've been following along, I do think about it often. And I mean OFTEN!

I think about whether our first child will be a boy or a girl, I wonder if he/she will have brown hair or blonde, blue eyes or green, all ten little fingers and ten little toes, two cute little ears and a little button nose...will he/she be as pale as his/her parents, or will he/she miraculously be tan? What color will I paint the walls of our now "boy" guest bedroom. I get more excited about receiving the Pottery Barn Kids catalogs than I do the regular "adult" ones! I spend my days on babyzone.com and I've all but registered for everything baby.

I've listened to all kinds of advice, prayed all kinds of prayers, had so much quiet time with God that sometimes I think he's shaking his head going "You again??". I've mentioned before, seldom do we pray for God to "grant a wish" but instead pray for his will to be done in our lives. So my prayers are not for a child, they are not for 'success' or anything of that nature. But I pray for patience, perspective and a revelation of God's timing. I pray for peace and understanding and most of all for something else to think about!!!!

I've been praying these prayers for 5, going on 6 months now. Wondering when in the world God would reveal himself to me...when will he reveal his timing...or better yet his plan?

All the while hearing stories and studying about God's timing, there's been one common theme...God's timing is a gift. It can be bold and 'in your face' or it can be subtle and sometimes hard to find. But when He is ready to reveal himself and his timing for our lives, you'll know. Kind of like when you meet the love of your life...and you ask, "How will I know?" I feel like God in his infinite wisdom is constantly answering that question with - "Trust me...You'll know."

Tonight I got my answer. Now calm down...we're not pregnant. Tonight God's timing and an entirely new perspective was revealed to me in the most unassuming of places.

Tonight I participated in my first ever "mission" project with our church, and it was all I needed to put things back into perspective. Every other month our church takes a homemade dinner to the folks on the 7th floor of the UAB Medical Apartments. These apartments (15 of them) are maintained by the Birmingham Baptist Association, and are for patients of UAB that are originally from outside of the Birmingham area. These patients are all waiting on an organ transplant.

Last night I baked a batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies - the Tollhouse recipe I grew up making with mom. I had to go back to the store twice to get all of the ingredients, as I didn't think it would be right to use flour that expired in June 2007, although I briefly considered it! It was late by the time I started making them, and I was tired and getting frustrated. But I finished just in time for bed, and our house smelled of fresh baked cookies - can't get better than that!

I left work a tad early today (w/ permission Mom!!!) and met some folks at the church. We loaded up the van and drove downtown. I've been to UAB a bunch of times. I've driven downtown a bunch of times. But this time was different.

We walked in the door of their small eating/meeting area, and I felt a world away. After setting up everything (a Valentine's theme), the patients and their families started strolling in. They fixed their plates and sat at the tables (I later learned in their usual spots). They were in a routine. Going through the motions. They had all been there before.

I watched, and poured tea, as everyone made their plates and started eating. When we were sure everyone had come through, we made our plates and found seats among the group.

I sat at the end of a table next to J and her husband. J is waiting on a lung. She is from Puerto Rico, and she and her darling husband R have left everything they have to come to our "land of opportunity" for the ultimate gift. R says he prays for a new lung, but not at the expense of another's life. His perspective had me truly in awe. He tried to joke with others through his tears, but was constantly praising God to be so lucky to even have the chance to be where they are now.

As I learned later, others in the room were waiting on lungs, hearts, kidney's, livers. Some had just received their 'gift' and were headed home soon! Praise God!

If you need a new organ, you have to be a 'match' - and I learned that not only do your blood types have to match, but there are all sorts of genetic factors that must match too. So one person may be a match in some areas, but not all. And your neighbor may also be a match...perhaps in all areas, where you are not. So these folks are constantly 'getting called' to say they might have a 'match' and a few of them (plus others on the list that are not living there) are also getting that call. Basically, the best match wins. Think of your lottery ticket. You have to match all the numbers to win the big bucks. These guys have to match all of the genetic factors just to LIVE!

One sweet lady said she's been called seven times for the lung she's waiting on. Recently (2 weeks ago) she got that call, and was almost a match, but not quite. The lung donor also had a good heart to give. And it just so happened that this lady's neighbor needed a heart. And he was a perfect match! So he got his gift, but she did not. But she was not discouraged. She had the hope of a saint, saying that her time will come, and all she has to do is wait on God's timing. And her admiration and excitement for her neighbor that received the heart, was the most inspiring show of true faith I've seen in a while.

As I sat there and listened to their stories, I started thinking about my life, and my thoughts and prayers of late. During the devotional, I instantly realized why I was there. True, I have a strong desire for missions, and a heart for God. I want nothing more than to use my gifts to glorify Him and to help others come to know Him. Yes, my cookies were good. Best I've ever made if I can brag! But most of them didn't get eaten. And I didn't care. That's not why God put me there.

As the devotional was given, and those lovely people told their stories, God's plan was revealed to me. It was not a plan of timing. Or a plan of answers.

It was a plan of God's Gift. It is a plan that reminded me to Trust Him. A plan that reminded me that when God is ready for us to be a "match," we will have our glorious day. And until then, we will wait patiently for our turn, much like J and her husband.

I will return to those apartments. And it is my prayer that at least one of them has received their gift and returned home, and that the others still waiting will know of God's Gift for them.

Labels: God is in Control