Sunday marked our first day of "Real Food" - nothing processed, and if it must come from a package it can only have 5 ingredients or less with 100% WHOLE grains (and preferably no sugar). The thought being that the more ingredients a product has, the more processed it has been, thus containing too many preservatives. Here's a review of the "Rules" in case you're late to the party.

So Day 1 wasn't so bad. As O said, "I'm not excited about doing that tomorrow, but it wasn't that bad." We started the day with homemade whole-wheat waffles (could have been pancakes if you don't have a waffle iron. (Tip of the day - Spray the waffle iron with cooking spray between EVERY waffle. You won't be happy with yourself if you forget.)

They were surprisingly good! A little flat (need more baking powder I think).

But the girls loved them and asked for seconds!

I messed us up for lunch. Lunch was Almond Butter and Jelly on "real food" bread (Big Sky Bakery found at Whole Foods). But when buying the jelly, I just bought "organic" and forgot to look at the ingredients, which equals massive amounts of sugar. I was supposed to by "All Fruit Spread" which contains NO added sugar, and is simply mashed up fruit. But with that we had unsweetened applesauce and veggie chips (sweet potato, squash, etc). All in all, lunch FAIL.

Dinner was simple grilled chicken (with a little salt and pepper) and grilled veggies. No marinade. It was fabulous. Note to self - our family requires more protein than this plan provides.

I also made some homemade granola bars for snacking. I should've made it in two batches because mine was too thick and is very crumbly. This batch is better for cereal. And I couldn't find sesame seeds, so I subbed flax seeds.

I'm cheating and allowing my coffee with a touch of real cream, flavored creamer. I just can't give that up. And we're having water and unsweet tea to drink.

All in all, Day 1 was doable. According to our scale I lost a pound! But that could have been my mean scale playing a nasty trick on me and trying to find a new job!

I've got some adjustments to make to make it work for our family, but so far, we're still going at it!

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As the girls and I were enjoying our lunch this afternoon, I was browsing the internet on my phone and came across this article about eating healthy. I looked down at our lunch. Chick-fil-A is healthy, right? I mean, I’m munching on a grilled chicken wrap, and I got the girls fruit instead of fries. That’s healthy. Right? (We just won’t talk about the fries that I ate, or the high sugar lemonade we were ALL drinking. Or the dressing with count them, TWENTY FIVE ingredients!)

According to the article I was reading, that was about the most unhealthy lunch I could’ve chosen. I mean, I still have about 15 pounds of post baby weight to lose, diabetes runs in our family, and my blood pressure (while controlled without medicine now), is still on the brink of needing meds to control.

We’ve started eating out more than I would like, and the girl’s snacks always consist of something from a box or a bag. And dinner, IF I make it, isn’t much better. I typically drown the chicken or steak we eat in some sort of high sodium marinade, and our veggies are always frozen – not fresh.

If I ever plan to lose this weight, our family needs an overhaul. I need to take more time to prepare healthy food for my family, and teach my children the right and wrong ways to eat.

So we’re going to start with the “10 Day Challenge” (as described here). And we’ll see where it goes from there. Hopefully I can help us keep up with it, and make it a lifestyle change. I’m going to try to keep track of our adventure on the blog, but no promises (seeing as how it’s been almost a year since my last post!). And I have a grand plan to keep a binder of all the recipes and ideas I gather and I’ll share those too. I figure if I put it all out there for people to read, I’ll have to keep up with it!

We’ll begin right after I finish these fries…and maybe a handful of M&Ms. Cause we all need just one more treat, right?!

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You think you’re having a case of the Monday’s?  I bet I got you beat!  Picture this…

4am:  Avery wakes for her standard 4am bottle.  She calmly takes 5ozs, eyes closed the whole time, and goes peacefully back to bed.  As does Mommy.

5am:  Avery SCREAMS.  (The girls share a room, mind you).  I figure it’s just gas, and that she’ll go back to sleep.  She SCREAMS again!  Ok, not gas.  Mommy’s up.

5:02am:  I go into their room, and find Sayla Grace sitting up in her crib playing with her blankie.  Avery is still screaming.  I tend to her first, and determine it is just gas, but that she also needs her paci.  Gas passed, paci found.  Happy baby.

5:05am:  I get Sayla Grace up, who is now whining, change her diaper and try to cuddle her back to sleep.  No such luck.  Off we go to make a bottle.

5:05am & 20 seconds:  With SG and I out of the room, Avery screams.  We make the bottle, and head down to the laundry to fetch Avery’s swaddle blanket (the only one that fits her). 

5:10am:  I sit Sayla Grace down in the rocker that is between the cribs.  I tell her to stay put, and play with the teddy bear that is sitting with her.  She happily obliges.  I lean over Avery’s crib and swaddle her.  On the last wrap, I feel something grabbing at my legs, and hear a “THUD.”  Followed by a SCREAM!!!  Sayla Grace has fallen out of the rocker. 

5:11am:  Daddy comes running in, we get both girls settled.  I park it in the chair with SG and she takes her bottle and goes back to sleep.

…fast forward…

9:05a:  The dog is barking in his sleep.  Crap.  We overslept.  Everyone jumps out of bed, diapers changed, teeth brushed, jammies off, matching outfits on, bags packed, bottles and banana in hand.  Out the door to the doctor (for checkups on both girls) by 9:30a.

10:05a:  Arrive at the doctor’s office for our 10a appointment.

11:50a:  9 shots later.  The medicinal kind.  1 ear infection.  2 screaming children.  We head home in lunchtime traffic.  Narrowly miss hitting 2 cars.

12:30p:  Arrive home to find two strangers backing into our driveway.  Owen goes into police mode.

12:31p:  Situation handled.  They were just delivering the phonebook we won’t use.

fast forward through some naps

2:15p:  A bird kamikaze's into our picture window.  Suicide I presume.  Dead bird on the porch.

2:30p:  Whining Sayla Grace, in my lap pointing to my nose.  She hooks my nostril with her sharp fingernail.

2:31p:  Me.  Bloody Nose.  SG screaming for her lunch.

2:35p:  SG in her highchair.  Avery screaming on the couch for someone to rock her to sleep (Daddy at the store getting more antibiotics).  I bend down to get a pan out of the bottom cabinet. 

SPLAT!!!

2:36p:  Egg.  On my head*. 

3:00p:  I’m clean, the babies and fed and napped and Daddy is home from the store. 

3:27p:  I’m on the couch finishing my morning coffee.

Enjoy your Monday folks! 

 

*The egg didn’t crack fully on my head, but it did hit me on the way down.  But didn’t it make your Monday just a bit better to think it hit me full on?!  You’re welcome.

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...it's ok though. I laughed too. She thought it was funny that one of my coping mechanisms is to randomly break out into song when things get hairy. I imagine I'm quite a sight when those times happen. Fortunately it hasn't happened while we've been out in public, but I fear that day is coming soon.

Really I'm doing much better. Down to every other week therapy sessions, as I have found many other coping mechanisms to help me deal with those times when I want to scream, cry or throw myself to the floor in a tantrum (which I have done!). There's the "My Life is a Musical" coping strategy; the "Let me tell you why this bothers me" strategy that I'm sure my family just LOVES!; and the "Careful, you'll end up in my novel" strategy.

Here's a brief rundown of what's been going on lately:

Avery Faith is getting much better, though I fear Similac changed the ingredients in her formula, because her latest trick is projectile vomiting after she eats (and I mean projectile)!! It's fun. Our couch loves it! She was having trouble with really bad reflux (like it was coming out of her nose!) but we got her on some baby Zantac and she's getting much better. Minus the vomiting part!

She sleeps through the night from about 9p to 4 or 5a and then goes back to sleep for 4 hours. She's awake a good bit during the day, but loves to sleep. It's her favorite pastime.

She eats every 4 hours during the day - like clockwork. If you don't have the bottle ready when the clock ticks past the 4th hour, you'd better have some earplugs and A LOT of patience. Because she can hit def con 6 in about a minute and a half.

Avery is in 3 month clothes (and thanks to her stylish big sis has more clothes than she'll EVER wear), but I don't know how much she weighs. Over 10 pounds I'm sure. We go back to the doc November 1st for 2 month check up and shots.

Sayla Grace LOVES mother's day out!! When I mention her classmate's names or her teacher's name, she just grins from ear to ear. I can talk about the bible verse, colors, or number of the month and she gets so excited. I wish I could be a fly on the wall in her class.

She isn't walking yet, but is close. She's down to every other month physical therapy visits! She knows exactly what the word "no" means, and promptly begins to crawl faster to her forbidden destination (usually the dog bowls) when she hears the word.

She can say "daddy" "momma" and "Tas" and knows exactly what each means. She can "moo" like a cow, "baa" like a sheep and "woof woof" like a dog. And says her little version of "me" when she wants something. It comes out "eeeeee" but we know what she's saying!

Tas (the dog) is super in love with "his babies" and is quite the mother hen dog. He can be found wherever they are, and if they are in separate rooms, you'll usually find him with Sayla Grace. They are best buds. When Sayla Grace stands up, he parks himself behind her. I'm assuming to break her fall when she tumbles. I think if I could put a saddle on him they would be inseparable.

Sayla Grace LOVES her baby sister. When Avery cries, she will find a paci and crawl over to her and try to put it in her mouth while shaking her head "no." It's adorable! She loves to find Avery's eyes, nose and mouth and 'pat' her on the head. Though most times she ends up pretending she's playing 'whack a mole' and bops her on the head quite hard! Those are fun times!

I'm working at the office 3 days a week (most weeks) and bringing Avery with me while Sayla Grace stays with Ms. Margaret. Owen is in school 4 nights a week, and working during the day. We are counting down the days to his law school graduation (still at least a year away!).

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The first step is admitting you have a problem, right?

Hi there. My name is Jessica. I'm a new mom (again), and I have a problem. It's a problem that I imagine many new (or new again) moms struggle with. But how would I know? No one talks about it.

And I can understand why. It's not pretty, it's not normal and it's definitely not included in the whole "Keeping Up With the Jones'" box that we moms try to fit ourselves into. You know what box I'm talking about...

...that *Jones* mother that seems to have it all together. She and her 2 and a half beautiful children at the park with their dog. Mom in her pre-pregnancy size 0 skinny jeans and the kids dressed like they belong in a magazine. While dad sits in his corner office making the big bucks. And their life is perfect - not a care in the world. It is the life we all dream of, right?

Wrong! Mrs. Jones is secretly falling apart inside. Mr. Jones is trying to figure out how to get out of his dead end job, and still pay off their mounting debt. The dog has allergies and the kids are a shear terror when you're not around. Oh, and those skinny jeans? Underneath them is a layer of Spanx so tight she might get enough oxygen with every other breath.

Somehow just thinking that the Jones' actually have the same problems we all face makes it all better. At least a little bit.

So what's my problem? We are not the Jones' by any means. But I am not falling apart inside. My husband loves his job, and we have zero debt. My dog does have allergies. And my kids are actually pretty pleasant when you're not around. I've NEVER worn a size 0, and I wouldn't dare think about even trying on skinny jeans. Heck I don't even own a normal pair of jeans that fits! And I still can't breathe when I squeeze myself into my size 8 Target cargos - no Spanx included!

But in all seriousness, I am struggling.

It's not easy being a mom. Not a mom of one, two or 20 (I do NOT know how the Duggar's do it!). And I'm the first to admit that I've had trouble.

Maybe it's because I was a Psych major in college that I feel comfortable talking about my feelings. Heck when Sayla Grace was born I talked about my cervix like it was the weather. So it really should come as no shock to you that I'm now writing about my feelings, and putting something that many consider so personal out there for everyone to see. I'm not trying to air out my dirty laundry (or whatever that saying is), but I am trying to bring attention to a topic that many new moms probably struggle with but never talk about.

I'm talking about the Baby Blues...and Postpartum Depression.

I'm not sure which I have, but I have one or the other. Or both. Probably the latter. I am in therapy and I'm not afraid to say it.

I feel like this is a topic that is very hush hush in our society. I have no statistics or anything like that, but I do have a lot of new mom friends. And I don't know a one of them that has "come out" and said they have had a problem with their emotions after baby's arrival. But if I were a bettin' woman I would put money on it that at least one of my friends has been there, done that. And I'm sure some got the t-shirt, but it's hiding away in their closet somewhere, for fear of not fitting in the Jones' box.

Well I've got the t-shirt, and I'm wearing it proudly. I'm not going to sit here and tell you each individual thing that I'm struggling with. That's what I'm paying my therapist for. But I do want you to know that this is a real problem with new moms, and it needs to be recognized.

The nurses in the hospital talk to you about it briefly while you're there. They make you sign something saying you feel great, which I think most everyone signs just so they can go home without being annoyed with one more thing. The nurses ask you about it the day you leave, and then call you a week or so later to check on you. You're busy when they call, so you say whatever you have to just to get them off the phone. And that's it. No one asks you about how you're REALLY feeling. You're on your own - whether you have help or not.

It's the reason I've been MIA on the blog, and in life in general. This doesn't mean I want you to tip-toe around me, and constantly ask me how I'm feeling. I'm not fragile and I won't break. In fact, I need you to be normal!! The more normal you are, the more normal I'm going to feel.

I'm getting better, and things are getting more routine. I really won't harp on this long, I just need to get it out there. I need everyone to recognize that many mom's struggle with this, and it's not a cake walk.

If you are a new (or new again) mom, and you are struggling with this, call your OB and ask him/her to refer you to someone to talk to. That's all you have to do. You don't have to tell your doctor what you're feeling. Just say, "Can you refer me to someone I can go talk to about all of this stress?" It doesn't mean you're crazy, or that you are a bad mother. But I can tell you it helps to be able to vent to a neutral party and get some advice. Don't struggle with this alone. At the very least, you can use that hour of therapy as "me" time!!

And dad's, grandparents and anyone close to a new mom...look for signs that she's struggling - she's not herself, she snaps at things she normally wouldn't snap at, she cries more than normal, she lacks interest in her child/children. Gently tell her that you think it might help for her to talk to someone.

She'll thank you later.

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